Betrayal Repair Is Not Just a Sex Issue. It’s About Safety, Integrity, Coming Back Into the Light.

When sexual betrayal is part of a relationship — through pornography, an affair, chronic lying, or long-term secrecy — couples often get drawn into the wrong conversation from the outset. The focus shifts to sex. How often it happened. Why it happened. How to prevent this from occurring again.

Dr. Vivek Hallegere Murthy has been our Surgeon General twice. He is just concluded his service as Surgeon General in 2024, and he closed his service with a powerfully written “prescription for America.” Take the time to read it, he nailed it. His message for his time in service has been one of an invitation to a healthier and happier life for Americans. His prescription really addresses what he feels are root causes of unhappiness and the core of what we can do to overcome these unhealthy roots.

When we are on a diet the last thing, we want on the counter is warm chocolate chip cookies. The smoker attempting to quit will never quit, if they carry a package of cigarettes on their person. The drug addict must distance him or herself from triggers and from environments where drugs are easily accessed.

by Dan Oakes MEd LPC

Every relationship faces conflict. The difference between couples who grow closer and those who drift apart isn’t how often they fight — it’s how they repair.

Conflict isn’t the real problem. Disconnection is. When we feel misunderstood, dismissed, or unseen, our hearts naturally protect themselves. One person may reach out with intensity

by Dan Oakes MEd LPC

Every relationship faces conflict. The difference between couples who grow closer and those who drift apart isn’t how often they fight — it’s how they repair.

Conflict isn’t the real problem. Disconnection is. When we feel misunderstood, dismissed, or unseen, our hearts naturally protect themselves. One person may reach out with intensity — “Please don’t pull away” — while the other may retreat to feel safe — “I can’t handle this right now.” Both are reacting to pain, trying in their own way to find safety, but their instincts pull them in opposite directions.

Compulsive sexual behavior (CSB), often called hypersexuality or sexual addiction, is when someone's sexual urges get so strong that they can cause problems in their life, like messing up relationships, school, or mental health. Old ways of dealing with this problem focused on avoiding sexual feelings altogether. But today, experts say there's a better way to handle it. Here's why the old method is outdated and how the new approach can help.

Today on Between Session, Jeni Gessel interviews our new AFI Clinical Director, Mark Bell.

Today, between sessions, Mark Bell, the AFI Clinical Director, interviews Jeni Gessel.  Jeni is a wonderful therapist for any issue and specializes in betrayal trauma. Welcome to their conversation between sessions.

Good morning from the Arizona Family Institute, this is Dan Oakes, and I just wanted to make a few comments this morning about overcoming betrayal.  Betrayal is a common experience in our culture, and it seems especially for those of us that work in the helping fields, it's one of the things that brings people in distress.